Kris and Calyna
Apr. 18th, 2004 07:54 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
skieblueIn honor of an important Lord of the Rings anniversary tomorrow, here are my three favorite Kris and Calyna scenes from the Tale of the Anachron. And, proof that their relationship was not supposed to go the way it did in The Prophecy. I wrote the part of Kris in these scenes.
First Confession
Kris hesitated for a moment before following Calyna. He wanted to, but he felt unsure about what seemed to be happening between them.
After a moment, he followed her down the path, arriving at the stream shortly after she had arrived there with the mare.
He approached her, and then, after she had noticed him, he stood quietly, waiting to find out what was bothering her.
Calyna couldn’t look at Kris, because she knew if she did, she’d never manage to say what she needed to. She had so many things on her mind, and she had to rid of one of them. This was the only one. “Kris . . . there are a few things bugging me, but only one I can do anything about right now. It’s you. You’re what’s bugging me. Don’t worry, it’s not because I’m mad at you. It’s the opposite. I . . .” Calyna sighed and slumped down on a rock. By the Valar, why was this so hard to say? “I find I like you a lot, and more than a friend. I like having you close, having you near me. And it scares me. This feeling is new to me, and I’m unsure why I get at warm feeling whenever I think that maybe you care about me. What if I lose you like I lost Elfarran and Tuoxanwe? I haven’t been able to tell you because I was so scared of how you’d react, or what you’d think of me. I still am.” Calyna rested her head on her hands, scared to look up and look at Kristian. He probably thought she was silly or stupid now. She couldn’t blame him if he did. She thought she sounded like an idiot saying that, but she found herself wishing desperately that he didn’t think that.
“I do care for you,” Kris said after a moment. “And I would not ask you to do anything that makes you uncomfortable. In a way, I am afraid of what I feel for you, because I am afraid that these feelings will make me like . . . someone I try not to think about.” He could not say anything more than that.
Kris moved until he was next to Calyna and knelt down next to her. “I would not do anything to hurt you. If what is happening bothers you, and you want me to leave, I will. If you want me to stay with you, when you go to Mirkwood to meet with Edric, and even after that, then I will stay with you, which is what I want to do.”
He stayed here, near her, waiting to see how she would respond, but not wanting to make her uncomfortable.
Calyna lifted her blue eyes to meet Kris’, her eyes holding a mixture of hope, elation, uncertainty, and fear. “No, I do want you stay; I don’t want you to go anywhere. I’m not uncomfortable, just unsure. I’m so used to not really feeling strong emotions like this that I don’t know how to say what I want.” Calyna’s cheeks were starting to turn red from her blushing, something that had never happened before. “Till recently, there’s been only one thing in my life. Battle. My sword and my horse were my only friends, and I thought I was happy with it that way. I’m trying to adjust to a different life. You’re in a completely new world, as am I, even though I’m from this world.” Calyna looked down, composing herself, then looked up at him again. “Please don’t leave me.”
“I will not leave you,” Kris said. He was silent then, not sure of what else to say. Kris knew that soon he would have to tell her about this father and what he had done. He was afraid she would hate him, when she learned what kind of man his father had been. So he stayed silent.
Calyna managed a shaky smile and wiped the edge of her eyes, where tears had been starting to form. She wanted to embrace him, to feel secure in him and in his strength. But she didn’t. More she couldn’t. She was too scared. Instead she just smiled again and whispered, “Thank you.” There was an awkward silence between the two for a little bit. Calyna eventually stood up. The mare had finished drinking sometime before that. “We should go back and get on our way. Aurelia and Andee are probably wondering what’s taking us so long.”
“I guess we should get back,” Kris said reluctantly. He didn’t want to leave here, and he didn’t want to return to the others, who were probably wondering what was going on.
The two started back toward the others, taking the mare with them.
Calyna walked in silence next to Kris. Inside her silence, she was singing a jubilant song. Kris would stay with her! He cared about her! Okay, so she wasn’t quite sure in what way, but just about anything was good enough. Plus, he had said he wanted to stay with her. That had gone over well also. Before they went through the shrubs, she reached over and took his hand for a moment, giving a slight squeeze before dropping it again. She immediately blushed a deep shade of red. She spoke quietly, “Kris, if I don’t want to go into Minas Tirith, I need you to make me. I am so scared to do so, but if I don’t at least go in, I’ll probably never do so. Will you do that for me?”
“If it is important to you,” Kris said. “Of course, lately I’m not very good at making anyone do anything.” He stopped talking, not really wanting to explain that.
Calyna nodded, “It is. Probably all you’ll have to do is nudge the mare forward if I don’t. Once I’m in the gate, I should be okay.” She smiled in thanks and stepped through the shrubs and told Aurelia and Andee, “Come on, time to go. We’ve still got a ways to go before we reach Minas Tirith.” She jumped up on the mare, helped Kris up behind her, and waited for Aurelia to get on Eclipse. Once everyone was ready, Calyna spurred the mare into a cantor, then a quick gallop.
Conversation
Calyna did not struggle when the Uruk-hai led her to the cell. She waited for the right moment; a quick spell, a short scuffle, and the Uruk-hai was in chains instead of her. She peered around, making sure no one else was there. The armies of Mirkwood, Lorien, and Minas Tirith were attacking. Good, perfect timing. She ran through the passages, keeping her disguise in place. Managing to find Grool’s chambers, she shoved the door open. Empty. Not good. That meant he had probably taken Cordelia when the attack started and gone elsewhere. Question was, where? She sprinted back to the cells, bent on finding Kris. She dropped the disguise as she ran, glad to shed the Orc appearance. She came back to where she had been, and saw all the rocks strewn about. She had thought that was a wall. Drawing her sword, just in case, she stepped in. “Kris! Thank the Valar! Are you okay?”
Kris did not answer for a moment, due to his surprise at seeing Calyna. He had through that she was there, but had not wanted to believe that.
“Yes, I’m okay,” he answered after a moment. He didn’t tell her anything else, because to say more he would have to talk about Leareth, and he didn’t think that would be a good subject to bring up.
Calyna gave a sigh of relief when Kris said he was okay. Grool wasn’t too well known for being nice to his prisoners. She shuddered inwardly at some of the things he had done. She went over and started to work on the lock of his chains. While keeping an eye on the other two in the cell, she managed to undo the lock with a small dagger. The chains fell loose and Kris was free. She straightened up and put the dagger away in its sheath.
Elven archers rushed in, weapons at ready. She commanded them sharply, “Take these two strangers back to camp for questioning. I don’t know who they are. They may be working for Grool. And ask Draco, Edric, Arwen, and Tamitha to meet me in the council tent in a little while. And send a few men to search Moria for Cordelia.” The soldiers saluted and took Zorb and Pryer out of the cell and down to the camp. Calyna turned back to Kris. “Come on, let’s get out of here.”
Kris watched as the Elven archers took the strangers away. He was still surprised at actually being free, and wondered about who those strangers were. He also wondered about Cordelia and what had happened to her. After a second, he turned to Calyna. “I don’t really know where we should go.” He paused. “And I don’t think Cordelia is here anymore. I would know if she was.”
Calyna nodded solemnly. “I don’t think so either. But it doesn’t hurt to check. If she’s not, we’ll go after her, but I learned something here that I must discuss with the others.”
Calyna and Kris left the cell and started to make their way out of Moria. Calyna was silent for a little bit, thinking back to what Derek had told her back at Minas Tirith. Kris didn’t know Derek had told her anything, and she wasn’t sure how much Kris knew about himself anyway. “Kris? Derek mentioned something to me at one point about Joich and Minitar. Who exactly are they?”
Kris didn’t reply immediately as neither of them were people he liked to talk about. Finally he said, “Minitar was a ‘friend’ of my aunt, I guess. Although, I think he really just wanted control over her. In fact, he was the one who killed her, after we found out he was a follower of the Dark Side. He was Cordelia’s teacher at one point, although he did not attempt to teach her the Dark Side, as far as I know. I was never around him much, because he didn’t like me.
“I can’t really tell you much about Joich. Except for the fact that I was his prisoner for eight years when I was a child. Cordelia was his prisoner for a while, too, but we defeated him, with the help of those who rescued us. According to what my aunt told me, Joich was the one who had my parents killed. I didn’t know his name most of the time I was his prisoner; I called him the Dark Man. And that is still how I usually think of him.”
Kris could not say anything else. He did not like to talk about either of them, and he was afraid that Calyna would ask more about his past.
“I see.” Calyna bit her lip, running into a dilemma. Apparently, Kris didn’t know Joich was his father. Which meant that Derek had never told him, when there was no reason not to. “Kris, we’ll talk more about this later, because I have something to tell you, but we have to get to the council tent now. But don’t trust Derek.”
“I’m not entirely sure I trust him as it is, although I can’t really give a reason.” Kris didn’t say anything more about that and instead merely followed Calyna to the council tent.
No one else was there when they reached the tent. That was fine. It gave them more time to talk by themselves. Calyna settled down in a chair and folded her hands behind her neck. “I can give you several reasons. One, Derek was glad you had gone after Cordelia. He was hoping you’d get yourself killed by the Orcs. Two, he knows who your father is. Three, he apparently hasn’t told you. Four, he tried to turn me against you by telling me about your father.”
Calyna pulled her chair close to Kris and met his gaze. “I told him it wouldn’t work. Because compared to me, or who I was, you’re practically a saint. And it won’t. He’ll probably try and pull us apart again if he has the chance.”
Kris barely heard the last part of what Calyna said, realizing only that she now knew about his father. He had not even realized that Derek knew; that raised another question. Did Cordelia know?
“What did he tell you about my father?” Kris asked, after a few moments. He continued to look at her, unable to believe that she was still there if she knew that truth.
Calyna sighed. She had hoped he wouldn’t ask. “Oh, Kris . . . I don’t know if I should tell you. I know he worked for the Dark Lord, or the equivalent in your world. I know he used your mother. But I’m afraid if I told you his name, that you’ll run and leave me. Because I know you won’t like to hear it.”
Kris was silent for a few moments, then said, “I’m not sure I want to know his name. I already knew what he was like. I heard Minitar talking about him.”
Not wanting to continue that discussion anymore, he said, “Maybe we should stop talking about this before the council starts.”
Calyna nodded slowly and dropped her gaze. She rubbed her temples, closing her eyes. What was she doing? Did she really think she could do anything about it? About anything, for that matter. She wasn’t even eighteen years old. The youngest, except for Kazushe, but he wasn’t ordering anybody around. She was starting to feel tired, of everything. She needed a break. But it seemed like there wasn’t any time for that. She wondered briefly how it would be to be like Elfarran. To rely on somebody else, and not to be thinking about battle tactics, how to fight.
Calyna opened her eyes and thought of herself. Elfarran had seemed so sweet, demure, motherly. She wore dresses, usual clothing for females. Calyna was opposite. She couldn’t remember a time when she’d worn anything besides armor and riding clothes. Elfarran had loved Luthan, and he had loved her. Calyna had previously either scared men off or had beaten them up. She was getting sick of it.
She looked up at Kris. What she felt for him was different. She wondered if what she felt was love. She knew that answer in heart, but frankly, she was scared of it. She thought to herself, I hope they hurry up before it gets even more awkward in here.
Kris was also aware of the awkwardness that was growing between them. He hoped the council would start soon, and the others arrive.
It was that moment that he felt a touch on his mind. A presence he had not felt for over ten years. Joich. But how could Joich be here?
:I assume you have felt my presence by now,: said a mocking voice in his head. Joich’s voice.
Kris tried to block against the voice in his mind, but was unable to, even using ways that should have worked. Finally, he replied, :Yes.:
:You didn’t think I’d let you get away so easily, did you, son? Oh, I forgot, no one ever told you, did they? I figured Minitar would have, since he told others.:
:What do you mean?:
:You really haven’t figured it out, have you? I’m your father. Why did you think I kept you with me all those years? Other than the fact that you were rather useful as a spy? Who would suspect a child, after all?:
Kris continued to fight against the contact, and against the knowledge he had just received. Joich was his father. Joich, the Dark Man.
Calyna cocked her head sideways and looked at Kris quizzically. “Kris? Kris!? Kris, what’s wrong? You just went completely white.” Calyna wasn’t liking this . . . things were awkward enough already. She was really worried about Kris. Something was definitely wrong. . .
After a few moments, Joich ended the contact. At least, Kris assumed that was what had happened. He only know that he no longer heard Joich’s mindvoice.
It was then that he noticed Calyna was talking to him. He took a minute to realize what she had said before he answered. “He’s here. Joich. He contacted me, and I couldn’t break the contact, and he said something I don’t want to believe.” He did not elaborate on that, not wanting to acknowledge what he had learned enough to talk about it.
Calyna swallowed, closing her eyes, feeling tears well up behind her lids. She had hoped to avoid him finding out. She told him softly, “I didn’t want to tell you . . . didn’t want you to know. I knew it would hurt you, and I didn’t want to do that to you.”
Kris was about to respond to Calyna when he became aware of a group of people approaching the tent. “I think the others are coming,” he said, resisting the urge to add the word, “finally.”
Declaration
Calyna watched as Kris left the Council and debated going after him. She knew he would want time alone, but she wanted to help him . . . let him know she knew what it was like, let him know how she felt about him. She bit her lip, thinking . . .
Calyna left the tent, following Kris silently. She climbed up a tree close by to where he had stopped, watching him. After a short period of time, she dropped back down. “Kris . . .”
Kris was not really surprised that Calyna had followed him. He was beginning to give up attempting to hide anything from her. But then, he didn’t really want to hide anything from her, except that which he felt necessary to hide from everyone.
He was still upset at having told the council about his father, and about having actually used the storyteller powers in the battle. But he didn’t really want to talk about any of that.
Instead, he decided it would be after to talk about the council in general. “The council had a rather unusual ending, didn’t it? There’s probably still some things to be decided.” He didn’t say anything more, not really sure what else to say without revealing anything.
Calyna regarded Kris for a moment. She came close up to him and asked gently, “Kris, why are you hiding from me?”
Kris was silent for a moment, not sure whether to tell her. He wanted to tell her, just so he could talk about it with someone who would not hate him when they knew the truth.
“I am afraid of being like my father, but I never wanted to talk about that because I don’t like to admit what kind of man he was. Even before I knew his name, I knew that. Minitar made sure I knew.”
He paused for a second, then managed to continue, “I guess that Minitar was once engaged to my mother. That was what I gathered from overhearing some of Minitar’s talks with my aunt. That was why Minitar hated me, because my father and I were the reason my mother never returned to Minitar.
“And my father never even cared for her. He tricked her into falling in love with him, and then abandoned her a few months later. Then, a couple of years later, he killed her.”
Kris looked at Calyna, afraid of what she would think of this revelation. “I don’t want to be like him. I’ve been trying not to be like him, even since I knew what he was like. And now I’ve done something that he would have done, by using the same kind of power he uses. And, when I was his prisoner for eight years, he made me work as a spy for him, because he thought no one would suspect a child. I think, if he had succeeded in the plans he had, I would have done more for him.”
This was more than he had told anyone about his past.
Calyna managed a sad smile, understanding how he felt. “Kris, no one decides who you are, what you do. Your blood can’t; your teaching and training can’t. You do. Nobody else. They can try, they can affect, but they cannot decide. Just because you used powers that he does, doesn’t mean you’re like him. Kris, I’m seventeen years old, my memory goes back only to age thirteen. No one knows what happened between age eight, which is when I disappeared, and then. But I know enough, I see it in my dreams. For five years of my life, I served the Dark Lord, learning how to fight, destroying, killing innocents and even my own people. I was only a child. Some people of Light serve because of a drug, a mind-control. But I did willingly. I was told to and I did, no questions. All that mattered was that I was fighting.”
Tears started to run silently down Caly’s cheeks. Telling Kris about her past broke against all the hard faces and emotions she tried to hide behind. “Seventeen years, and I’m already more war-hardened than most, even those far older than me. My hands are stained red with the blood of innocents. They will never be clean. I may be of the Light now, but I will never be fully. I will always hover between light and dark. That stain will never leave. You may have the dark stain from your father, but you are better than I. But I made my way out of the pit I was digging. Kris, both of us will always be dangerous because of our lives. But we have to accept that, we can’t change it. The only thing we can do is keep living, and try not to let ourselves be swayed again.”
Kris acted almost without thinking when Calyna had finished talking. He could tell she was upset, and realized it had been hard for her to talk about this as it was for him to talk about his own past. He moved forward, until he was standing closer to her, and he reached out to take her in his arms, unsure how she would react to this.
Calyna had her head bowed when she sensed Kris stepping nearer. When his arms reached out to her, she didn’t protest. Instead she welcomed his embrace, leaning into his warmth. Her tears slowed and came to a stop, but she did not pull away, she didn’t want to . . . She tilted her head up to look at him, and whispered, “We’re so much alike . . . To think I used to not like you . . .”
Kris thought back to the memory of when they first met. How they had not really liked each other, and now he could not imagine caring for anyone else the way he cared for her. He didn’t think about it, as he looked at her. At that moment, nothing else mattered. He leaned down and kissed her gently.
Calyna’s hands slipped up around his shoulders and neck as her eyelids slowly slid closed, and she returned his kiss. A line from a song came to mind that went, “Love is surrender . . .” It was true. She surrendered all the walls, all the faces in that moment. Warmth spread through her body, she felt secure and comfortable in his arms. Was this how Aine and Ayon felt? Was this love? Yes, it was, she could admit it now. Now that she had admitted it, now that she understood the feeling and felt it, she never wanted to lose it. She wanted time to stand still, so that the moment of sweet warmth would never go away.
Kris kept his arms about Calyna, reluctant to pull away, not wanting the moment to end. He had been unsure of his feelings for her, but now, all uncertainty was swept away.
Eventually her lungs demanded air, and Calyna slowly and reluctantly pulled her head back, opening her eyes. She smiled softly up at Kris, neither pulling away. She rested her head on his chest, giving a content sigh. She murmured absently, “Twisting halls of fate often draw people to where they never thought they’d be, and to people they never though they’d know.”
Kris heard what Calyna said about fate. That was not something he had ever thought much about. He had learned at the academy that people had destinies and had to follow the will of the Force. Maybe that wasn’t too different from fate.
“I wish we could stay here like this,” he said quietly, knowing, and not wanting to admit, that soon they would probably have to return to the others to discuss their next course of action.
Calyna nodded slowly. “I do too. Who knows what will happen . . . we may never see each other again.” Calyna looked up at him, and moved a stray lock of hair away from his eyes. “But I’m not going to ruin this by pessimistic thoughts. Unfortunately, we should be going back. We don’t want anyone to come searching for us.” She reluctantly pulled away from him. She moved to stand next to his side, taking his hand. She repeated, “We should go. The longer we stay, the harder it will be to go.”
“I guess we should go,” Kris agreed reluctantly. He felt as if something was telling him not to return to the camp, but he assumed it was just his reluctance for the interlude to end.
Hand in hand, the two walked back to camp.
First Confession
Kris hesitated for a moment before following Calyna. He wanted to, but he felt unsure about what seemed to be happening between them.
After a moment, he followed her down the path, arriving at the stream shortly after she had arrived there with the mare.
He approached her, and then, after she had noticed him, he stood quietly, waiting to find out what was bothering her.
Calyna couldn’t look at Kris, because she knew if she did, she’d never manage to say what she needed to. She had so many things on her mind, and she had to rid of one of them. This was the only one. “Kris . . . there are a few things bugging me, but only one I can do anything about right now. It’s you. You’re what’s bugging me. Don’t worry, it’s not because I’m mad at you. It’s the opposite. I . . .” Calyna sighed and slumped down on a rock. By the Valar, why was this so hard to say? “I find I like you a lot, and more than a friend. I like having you close, having you near me. And it scares me. This feeling is new to me, and I’m unsure why I get at warm feeling whenever I think that maybe you care about me. What if I lose you like I lost Elfarran and Tuoxanwe? I haven’t been able to tell you because I was so scared of how you’d react, or what you’d think of me. I still am.” Calyna rested her head on her hands, scared to look up and look at Kristian. He probably thought she was silly or stupid now. She couldn’t blame him if he did. She thought she sounded like an idiot saying that, but she found herself wishing desperately that he didn’t think that.
“I do care for you,” Kris said after a moment. “And I would not ask you to do anything that makes you uncomfortable. In a way, I am afraid of what I feel for you, because I am afraid that these feelings will make me like . . . someone I try not to think about.” He could not say anything more than that.
Kris moved until he was next to Calyna and knelt down next to her. “I would not do anything to hurt you. If what is happening bothers you, and you want me to leave, I will. If you want me to stay with you, when you go to Mirkwood to meet with Edric, and even after that, then I will stay with you, which is what I want to do.”
He stayed here, near her, waiting to see how she would respond, but not wanting to make her uncomfortable.
Calyna lifted her blue eyes to meet Kris’, her eyes holding a mixture of hope, elation, uncertainty, and fear. “No, I do want you stay; I don’t want you to go anywhere. I’m not uncomfortable, just unsure. I’m so used to not really feeling strong emotions like this that I don’t know how to say what I want.” Calyna’s cheeks were starting to turn red from her blushing, something that had never happened before. “Till recently, there’s been only one thing in my life. Battle. My sword and my horse were my only friends, and I thought I was happy with it that way. I’m trying to adjust to a different life. You’re in a completely new world, as am I, even though I’m from this world.” Calyna looked down, composing herself, then looked up at him again. “Please don’t leave me.”
“I will not leave you,” Kris said. He was silent then, not sure of what else to say. Kris knew that soon he would have to tell her about this father and what he had done. He was afraid she would hate him, when she learned what kind of man his father had been. So he stayed silent.
Calyna managed a shaky smile and wiped the edge of her eyes, where tears had been starting to form. She wanted to embrace him, to feel secure in him and in his strength. But she didn’t. More she couldn’t. She was too scared. Instead she just smiled again and whispered, “Thank you.” There was an awkward silence between the two for a little bit. Calyna eventually stood up. The mare had finished drinking sometime before that. “We should go back and get on our way. Aurelia and Andee are probably wondering what’s taking us so long.”
“I guess we should get back,” Kris said reluctantly. He didn’t want to leave here, and he didn’t want to return to the others, who were probably wondering what was going on.
The two started back toward the others, taking the mare with them.
Calyna walked in silence next to Kris. Inside her silence, she was singing a jubilant song. Kris would stay with her! He cared about her! Okay, so she wasn’t quite sure in what way, but just about anything was good enough. Plus, he had said he wanted to stay with her. That had gone over well also. Before they went through the shrubs, she reached over and took his hand for a moment, giving a slight squeeze before dropping it again. She immediately blushed a deep shade of red. She spoke quietly, “Kris, if I don’t want to go into Minas Tirith, I need you to make me. I am so scared to do so, but if I don’t at least go in, I’ll probably never do so. Will you do that for me?”
“If it is important to you,” Kris said. “Of course, lately I’m not very good at making anyone do anything.” He stopped talking, not really wanting to explain that.
Calyna nodded, “It is. Probably all you’ll have to do is nudge the mare forward if I don’t. Once I’m in the gate, I should be okay.” She smiled in thanks and stepped through the shrubs and told Aurelia and Andee, “Come on, time to go. We’ve still got a ways to go before we reach Minas Tirith.” She jumped up on the mare, helped Kris up behind her, and waited for Aurelia to get on Eclipse. Once everyone was ready, Calyna spurred the mare into a cantor, then a quick gallop.
Conversation
Calyna did not struggle when the Uruk-hai led her to the cell. She waited for the right moment; a quick spell, a short scuffle, and the Uruk-hai was in chains instead of her. She peered around, making sure no one else was there. The armies of Mirkwood, Lorien, and Minas Tirith were attacking. Good, perfect timing. She ran through the passages, keeping her disguise in place. Managing to find Grool’s chambers, she shoved the door open. Empty. Not good. That meant he had probably taken Cordelia when the attack started and gone elsewhere. Question was, where? She sprinted back to the cells, bent on finding Kris. She dropped the disguise as she ran, glad to shed the Orc appearance. She came back to where she had been, and saw all the rocks strewn about. She had thought that was a wall. Drawing her sword, just in case, she stepped in. “Kris! Thank the Valar! Are you okay?”
Kris did not answer for a moment, due to his surprise at seeing Calyna. He had through that she was there, but had not wanted to believe that.
“Yes, I’m okay,” he answered after a moment. He didn’t tell her anything else, because to say more he would have to talk about Leareth, and he didn’t think that would be a good subject to bring up.
Calyna gave a sigh of relief when Kris said he was okay. Grool wasn’t too well known for being nice to his prisoners. She shuddered inwardly at some of the things he had done. She went over and started to work on the lock of his chains. While keeping an eye on the other two in the cell, she managed to undo the lock with a small dagger. The chains fell loose and Kris was free. She straightened up and put the dagger away in its sheath.
Elven archers rushed in, weapons at ready. She commanded them sharply, “Take these two strangers back to camp for questioning. I don’t know who they are. They may be working for Grool. And ask Draco, Edric, Arwen, and Tamitha to meet me in the council tent in a little while. And send a few men to search Moria for Cordelia.” The soldiers saluted and took Zorb and Pryer out of the cell and down to the camp. Calyna turned back to Kris. “Come on, let’s get out of here.”
Kris watched as the Elven archers took the strangers away. He was still surprised at actually being free, and wondered about who those strangers were. He also wondered about Cordelia and what had happened to her. After a second, he turned to Calyna. “I don’t really know where we should go.” He paused. “And I don’t think Cordelia is here anymore. I would know if she was.”
Calyna nodded solemnly. “I don’t think so either. But it doesn’t hurt to check. If she’s not, we’ll go after her, but I learned something here that I must discuss with the others.”
Calyna and Kris left the cell and started to make their way out of Moria. Calyna was silent for a little bit, thinking back to what Derek had told her back at Minas Tirith. Kris didn’t know Derek had told her anything, and she wasn’t sure how much Kris knew about himself anyway. “Kris? Derek mentioned something to me at one point about Joich and Minitar. Who exactly are they?”
Kris didn’t reply immediately as neither of them were people he liked to talk about. Finally he said, “Minitar was a ‘friend’ of my aunt, I guess. Although, I think he really just wanted control over her. In fact, he was the one who killed her, after we found out he was a follower of the Dark Side. He was Cordelia’s teacher at one point, although he did not attempt to teach her the Dark Side, as far as I know. I was never around him much, because he didn’t like me.
“I can’t really tell you much about Joich. Except for the fact that I was his prisoner for eight years when I was a child. Cordelia was his prisoner for a while, too, but we defeated him, with the help of those who rescued us. According to what my aunt told me, Joich was the one who had my parents killed. I didn’t know his name most of the time I was his prisoner; I called him the Dark Man. And that is still how I usually think of him.”
Kris could not say anything else. He did not like to talk about either of them, and he was afraid that Calyna would ask more about his past.
“I see.” Calyna bit her lip, running into a dilemma. Apparently, Kris didn’t know Joich was his father. Which meant that Derek had never told him, when there was no reason not to. “Kris, we’ll talk more about this later, because I have something to tell you, but we have to get to the council tent now. But don’t trust Derek.”
“I’m not entirely sure I trust him as it is, although I can’t really give a reason.” Kris didn’t say anything more about that and instead merely followed Calyna to the council tent.
No one else was there when they reached the tent. That was fine. It gave them more time to talk by themselves. Calyna settled down in a chair and folded her hands behind her neck. “I can give you several reasons. One, Derek was glad you had gone after Cordelia. He was hoping you’d get yourself killed by the Orcs. Two, he knows who your father is. Three, he apparently hasn’t told you. Four, he tried to turn me against you by telling me about your father.”
Calyna pulled her chair close to Kris and met his gaze. “I told him it wouldn’t work. Because compared to me, or who I was, you’re practically a saint. And it won’t. He’ll probably try and pull us apart again if he has the chance.”
Kris barely heard the last part of what Calyna said, realizing only that she now knew about his father. He had not even realized that Derek knew; that raised another question. Did Cordelia know?
“What did he tell you about my father?” Kris asked, after a few moments. He continued to look at her, unable to believe that she was still there if she knew that truth.
Calyna sighed. She had hoped he wouldn’t ask. “Oh, Kris . . . I don’t know if I should tell you. I know he worked for the Dark Lord, or the equivalent in your world. I know he used your mother. But I’m afraid if I told you his name, that you’ll run and leave me. Because I know you won’t like to hear it.”
Kris was silent for a few moments, then said, “I’m not sure I want to know his name. I already knew what he was like. I heard Minitar talking about him.”
Not wanting to continue that discussion anymore, he said, “Maybe we should stop talking about this before the council starts.”
Calyna nodded slowly and dropped her gaze. She rubbed her temples, closing her eyes. What was she doing? Did she really think she could do anything about it? About anything, for that matter. She wasn’t even eighteen years old. The youngest, except for Kazushe, but he wasn’t ordering anybody around. She was starting to feel tired, of everything. She needed a break. But it seemed like there wasn’t any time for that. She wondered briefly how it would be to be like Elfarran. To rely on somebody else, and not to be thinking about battle tactics, how to fight.
Calyna opened her eyes and thought of herself. Elfarran had seemed so sweet, demure, motherly. She wore dresses, usual clothing for females. Calyna was opposite. She couldn’t remember a time when she’d worn anything besides armor and riding clothes. Elfarran had loved Luthan, and he had loved her. Calyna had previously either scared men off or had beaten them up. She was getting sick of it.
She looked up at Kris. What she felt for him was different. She wondered if what she felt was love. She knew that answer in heart, but frankly, she was scared of it. She thought to herself, I hope they hurry up before it gets even more awkward in here.
Kris was also aware of the awkwardness that was growing between them. He hoped the council would start soon, and the others arrive.
It was that moment that he felt a touch on his mind. A presence he had not felt for over ten years. Joich. But how could Joich be here?
:I assume you have felt my presence by now,: said a mocking voice in his head. Joich’s voice.
Kris tried to block against the voice in his mind, but was unable to, even using ways that should have worked. Finally, he replied, :Yes.:
:You didn’t think I’d let you get away so easily, did you, son? Oh, I forgot, no one ever told you, did they? I figured Minitar would have, since he told others.:
:What do you mean?:
:You really haven’t figured it out, have you? I’m your father. Why did you think I kept you with me all those years? Other than the fact that you were rather useful as a spy? Who would suspect a child, after all?:
Kris continued to fight against the contact, and against the knowledge he had just received. Joich was his father. Joich, the Dark Man.
Calyna cocked her head sideways and looked at Kris quizzically. “Kris? Kris!? Kris, what’s wrong? You just went completely white.” Calyna wasn’t liking this . . . things were awkward enough already. She was really worried about Kris. Something was definitely wrong. . .
After a few moments, Joich ended the contact. At least, Kris assumed that was what had happened. He only know that he no longer heard Joich’s mindvoice.
It was then that he noticed Calyna was talking to him. He took a minute to realize what she had said before he answered. “He’s here. Joich. He contacted me, and I couldn’t break the contact, and he said something I don’t want to believe.” He did not elaborate on that, not wanting to acknowledge what he had learned enough to talk about it.
Calyna swallowed, closing her eyes, feeling tears well up behind her lids. She had hoped to avoid him finding out. She told him softly, “I didn’t want to tell you . . . didn’t want you to know. I knew it would hurt you, and I didn’t want to do that to you.”
Kris was about to respond to Calyna when he became aware of a group of people approaching the tent. “I think the others are coming,” he said, resisting the urge to add the word, “finally.”
Declaration
Calyna watched as Kris left the Council and debated going after him. She knew he would want time alone, but she wanted to help him . . . let him know she knew what it was like, let him know how she felt about him. She bit her lip, thinking . . .
Calyna left the tent, following Kris silently. She climbed up a tree close by to where he had stopped, watching him. After a short period of time, she dropped back down. “Kris . . .”
Kris was not really surprised that Calyna had followed him. He was beginning to give up attempting to hide anything from her. But then, he didn’t really want to hide anything from her, except that which he felt necessary to hide from everyone.
He was still upset at having told the council about his father, and about having actually used the storyteller powers in the battle. But he didn’t really want to talk about any of that.
Instead, he decided it would be after to talk about the council in general. “The council had a rather unusual ending, didn’t it? There’s probably still some things to be decided.” He didn’t say anything more, not really sure what else to say without revealing anything.
Calyna regarded Kris for a moment. She came close up to him and asked gently, “Kris, why are you hiding from me?”
Kris was silent for a moment, not sure whether to tell her. He wanted to tell her, just so he could talk about it with someone who would not hate him when they knew the truth.
“I am afraid of being like my father, but I never wanted to talk about that because I don’t like to admit what kind of man he was. Even before I knew his name, I knew that. Minitar made sure I knew.”
He paused for a second, then managed to continue, “I guess that Minitar was once engaged to my mother. That was what I gathered from overhearing some of Minitar’s talks with my aunt. That was why Minitar hated me, because my father and I were the reason my mother never returned to Minitar.
“And my father never even cared for her. He tricked her into falling in love with him, and then abandoned her a few months later. Then, a couple of years later, he killed her.”
Kris looked at Calyna, afraid of what she would think of this revelation. “I don’t want to be like him. I’ve been trying not to be like him, even since I knew what he was like. And now I’ve done something that he would have done, by using the same kind of power he uses. And, when I was his prisoner for eight years, he made me work as a spy for him, because he thought no one would suspect a child. I think, if he had succeeded in the plans he had, I would have done more for him.”
This was more than he had told anyone about his past.
Calyna managed a sad smile, understanding how he felt. “Kris, no one decides who you are, what you do. Your blood can’t; your teaching and training can’t. You do. Nobody else. They can try, they can affect, but they cannot decide. Just because you used powers that he does, doesn’t mean you’re like him. Kris, I’m seventeen years old, my memory goes back only to age thirteen. No one knows what happened between age eight, which is when I disappeared, and then. But I know enough, I see it in my dreams. For five years of my life, I served the Dark Lord, learning how to fight, destroying, killing innocents and even my own people. I was only a child. Some people of Light serve because of a drug, a mind-control. But I did willingly. I was told to and I did, no questions. All that mattered was that I was fighting.”
Tears started to run silently down Caly’s cheeks. Telling Kris about her past broke against all the hard faces and emotions she tried to hide behind. “Seventeen years, and I’m already more war-hardened than most, even those far older than me. My hands are stained red with the blood of innocents. They will never be clean. I may be of the Light now, but I will never be fully. I will always hover between light and dark. That stain will never leave. You may have the dark stain from your father, but you are better than I. But I made my way out of the pit I was digging. Kris, both of us will always be dangerous because of our lives. But we have to accept that, we can’t change it. The only thing we can do is keep living, and try not to let ourselves be swayed again.”
Kris acted almost without thinking when Calyna had finished talking. He could tell she was upset, and realized it had been hard for her to talk about this as it was for him to talk about his own past. He moved forward, until he was standing closer to her, and he reached out to take her in his arms, unsure how she would react to this.
Calyna had her head bowed when she sensed Kris stepping nearer. When his arms reached out to her, she didn’t protest. Instead she welcomed his embrace, leaning into his warmth. Her tears slowed and came to a stop, but she did not pull away, she didn’t want to . . . She tilted her head up to look at him, and whispered, “We’re so much alike . . . To think I used to not like you . . .”
Kris thought back to the memory of when they first met. How they had not really liked each other, and now he could not imagine caring for anyone else the way he cared for her. He didn’t think about it, as he looked at her. At that moment, nothing else mattered. He leaned down and kissed her gently.
Calyna’s hands slipped up around his shoulders and neck as her eyelids slowly slid closed, and she returned his kiss. A line from a song came to mind that went, “Love is surrender . . .” It was true. She surrendered all the walls, all the faces in that moment. Warmth spread through her body, she felt secure and comfortable in his arms. Was this how Aine and Ayon felt? Was this love? Yes, it was, she could admit it now. Now that she had admitted it, now that she understood the feeling and felt it, she never wanted to lose it. She wanted time to stand still, so that the moment of sweet warmth would never go away.
Kris kept his arms about Calyna, reluctant to pull away, not wanting the moment to end. He had been unsure of his feelings for her, but now, all uncertainty was swept away.
Eventually her lungs demanded air, and Calyna slowly and reluctantly pulled her head back, opening her eyes. She smiled softly up at Kris, neither pulling away. She rested her head on his chest, giving a content sigh. She murmured absently, “Twisting halls of fate often draw people to where they never thought they’d be, and to people they never though they’d know.”
Kris heard what Calyna said about fate. That was not something he had ever thought much about. He had learned at the academy that people had destinies and had to follow the will of the Force. Maybe that wasn’t too different from fate.
“I wish we could stay here like this,” he said quietly, knowing, and not wanting to admit, that soon they would probably have to return to the others to discuss their next course of action.
Calyna nodded slowly. “I do too. Who knows what will happen . . . we may never see each other again.” Calyna looked up at him, and moved a stray lock of hair away from his eyes. “But I’m not going to ruin this by pessimistic thoughts. Unfortunately, we should be going back. We don’t want anyone to come searching for us.” She reluctantly pulled away from him. She moved to stand next to his side, taking his hand. She repeated, “We should go. The longer we stay, the harder it will be to go.”
“I guess we should go,” Kris agreed reluctantly. He felt as if something was telling him not to return to the camp, but he assumed it was just his reluctance for the interlude to end.
Hand in hand, the two walked back to camp.
